


I thought you didn’t love me

by UrSunshine



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: A little bit of angst, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Most of the members are not mentioned I’m sorry, Nakamoto Yuta is Whipped, Sarcastic Doyoung, jaeyong and dokun are not the main ships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 08:41:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16384874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UrSunshine/pseuds/UrSunshine
Summary: Doyoung huffs an annoyed sigh.« Guys, I'm going to be serious here. Jaehyun loves you, Taeyong. And Winwin doesn't hate you at least, Yuta. But I'm not going to deny that something will happen between them if you don't do something. Both of you. »





	I thought you didn’t love me

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fanfiction and I am very happy to share it with all of you !!  
> I just wanted to say that english is not my first language so if there are any mistakes in this story, please say it so I can improve !! :))

Yuta loves Winwin. He loves every aspect of his physique and every single part of his personality. 

He loves his astonishing beauty, the kind of beauty that leaves you agape and wanting for more. He loves his messy peach hair when he wakes up, his deep brown eyes that can pierce you with one look when he's focused on a choreography, his rosy and pouty lips after he bites it when he's nervous during an interview. 

He loves how his eyes form crescent moons when he genuinely smiles. He loves how, just by the action of laughing, he can make Yuta so happy. He loves how he's hardworking, on the stage when they need to perform and in the dorms when he wants to improve his korean. He loves the sound of his voice, how deep it is when he sings but yet, how gently it is when he talks. 

He loves how generous, kindhearted, and nice he is. He loves that he is so smart and yet, could laugh over stupid jokes Taeil would say. He loves how he makes effort to understand the other members, to talk with them, how we could see in his eyes he was deeply attached to the others. 

The thing is : Yuta loves Winwin. Yuta is in love with Winwin. He has been in love with him for years now, perhaps even since they first met. He remembers when he first realized he was in love with him. It was back in the Limitless era. Winwin was already handsome but he had to slay the dreads he wore too. He was simply gorgeous. Now that Yuta thinks of it, he was probably already in love with Winwin, but just didn't acknowledge the goosebumps he had all over his body when Winwin talked to him or the fast beating of his heart whenever the other looked in his direction. 

Yuta loves Winwin. Yuta is in love with Winwin. But Winwin just doesn't love him back. Well, Yuta doesn't really know that but he kind of has a feeling about it. And what does the famous sentence say ? Trust your guts. 

They aren't really friends. Yuta can be kind of clingy to him on lives, during interviews and videos for the YouTube channel or the social medias and he would call it fan service because it's the only way he can be close to Winwin. But in the dorms, the other won't even look at Yuta so he just assumes Winwin doesn't like him. 

It's not like he didn't try to get closer to him. He tried talking to him when they had group conversations, but Winwin preferred talking with Jaehyun. He tried asking him if he wanted help with his korean (even if korean is not his native language, he knows what it's like to feel pressured and to not understand his surrounding during conversations, it sucks) but the other just turned down his offer before joining his study session with Jaehyun. It's just like Winwin is all about Jaehyun and swears by him and just him.

Yuta muffles a shout in his pillow. He is frustrated. Long seconds passes before he hears a snort that takes him out of his sulking. He lifts his head and glares at Doyoung. The latter is lying on Kun's bed and is playing with his boyfriend's hair. Kun is supposed to be reading but Yuta can say he's already sleeping with how gentle Doyoung's touch is. Taeyong is on the floor, crossed legs and his laptop on his lap. 

The scenery screams home to Yuta but a little part of him is hoping Winwin would be part of it to complete the perfect image. 

« What ? »  
« I'm glad you finally collected the guts to die but I was hoping you weren't going to do that in the room, at least not with us in it. » 

Yuta groans. Of course, it isn't going to be Doyoung who is going to comfort him. Fortunately for him, Taeyong slaps Doyoung's leg. The latter winces in pain but doesn't say anything.

« What's wrong, Yuta ? »  
« Nothing. » is his bland response.  
« Yah ! I didn't defend you for you to turn me down. » 

Yuta sighs before sitting on the edge of his bed to make eye contact with both a disinterested Doyoung and an attentive Taeyong. 

« Does Winwin hate me ? » finally asks Yuta.

Another snort. 

« Do you notice it just now ? »  
« Doyoung ! »

Doyoung rolls his eyes and resumes his caresses to Kun. 

« Why would you think that ? »  
« I mean, I don't want to make it all about me but I feel like he always ignores and avoids me. »

Taeyong's lips twitches as if he knows something. He doesn't say anything though and it frustrates Yuta more. Taeyong notices it and shakes his head. 

« I don't think it's like that. Don't forget he's still learning korean and all. »  
« Yeah I know ! I even tried to help him but he just keeps on rejecting me and is always with Jaehyun, talking with Jaehyun, studying with Jaehyun, eating with Jaehyun. I don't know how you do, knowing you love him. » 

Taeyong raised his eyebrows. He understands now. 

« I'm not the jealous type like you. It's not even a thing to be jealous of. Jaehyun just helps Winwin to integrate in this new country and Winwin just finds a pillar in him. And we are not together anyway so he can do whatever he wants. » 

Doyoung rolls his eyes again and Yuta scoffs. He is jealous, he's not going to deny something so obvious. But to say that it's not valid to be jealous in this situation offends Yuta. Not seriously though. And he's not going to admit it to them. 

« I am not jealous. I just want to get to know him and become friends with him. »  
« Stop lying to yourself, you are whipped. » answers Doyoung with a little smirk.  
« Stop being a bitch. »  
« Language. »  
« Sorry mom. » 

A long silence settles in the room. Kun shifts a little in his sleep and Doyoung coos softly at his boyfriend. And then he giggles. 

« Hey guys, are you aware that we are probably one of the rare groups that hasn't one mom and one dad but two moms ? »  
« What the hell are you saying ? »  
« Yuta. »  
« Like, in all groups, there is a dad and a mom who take care of the group. The dad is always manlier and the mom softer. But in Nct, there are two moms. Taeyong and Kun. »  
« Are you saying that I'm not manly ? »  
« Well... Yeah. »  
« I can be a dad ! »  
« No you can't. Maybe Jaehyun, he has more the daddy vibes. He's probably Winwin's daddy. » 

Yuta almost gets a whiplash with how fast he turns his head to throw daggers with his eyes at Doyoung. The latter just laughs at his face and lays next to his boyfriend to prevent Yuta from attacking him with pillows. Taeyong just sighs but you can see that the comment bothered him too. 

Doyoung huffs an annoyed sigh. 

« Guys, I'm going to be serious here. Jaehyun loves you, Taeyong. And Winwin doesn't hate you at least, Yuta. But I'm not going to deny that something will happen between them if you don't do something. Both of you. »

Yuta and Taeyong stop and look at each other. They know Doyoung is right. They need to do something to be happy with their love life but they are too much of a coward. At least Taeyong is, according to Yuta. 

Yuta groans and hides again his face in the pillow. He really wants to get closer to Winwin, he wants him to pay attention to him, he wants to kiss him, to take him on dates, and above all, he wants to be loved by Winwin. And he is determined. 

*****

Yuta puts on his cap before looking at himself in the mirror. He scans his outfit, his eyes traveling from his oversized black sweatshirt to his black skinny jeans to finish by his black sneakers. The only touch of color is his red cap and his golden belt. He looks very hot. 

The boy looks around and spots Jaehyun  
talking with Taeyong. He winks at the latter and goes to find his love interest.

Winwin isn't hard to find. He is sitting on the sofa, scrolling through something on his phone. His red sweatshirt gives him sweater paws and he is wearing spectacles. A little smile embraces his lips and Yuta finds him adorable like that. 

Yuta has just the time to say a quick prayer before Winwin raises his head and stares at him, surprised to see him. The boy waves his hand before sitting next to the other. 

« Hey. You look great ! »

Winwin lifts his eyebrows, certainly isn't expecting a compliment. A soft blush covers his cheeks. 

« Hum.. thank you. You too. » 

They stares at each other for a long time (merely five seconds) but, oddly, it wasn't uncomfortable or awkward. However, the silence is quickly interrupted by the sound of Winwin's phone. The latter looks at the notification and giggles. Yuta peeks briefly at the screen. His eyebrows furrow when he reads « Jaehyun ». What the actual fuck ? Isn't he supposed to be with Taeyong right now ? 

Yuta turns his head to prevent Winwin from seeing him scowling. He is going to stand and hide in a corner but a hand holds him back. Winwin's hand. He looks up to see the other smiling at him and his heart skips a beat. 

« I... hum... needed to ask you something. »  
« Yeah ? » asks Yuta too quickly to his taste. 

Winwin fidgets with his sleeves before lifting his head and looking straight into Yuta's eyes. 

« I was wondering if you were... hum... free after tomorrow's practice ? There's a movie I really wanted to watch and... well... maybe you wanted to come too ? »

Yuta freezes. He takes around ten long seconds to realize what Winwin asked him. Enough time for the other boy to panic and try to back out. 

« I mean, it was stupid to ask ! Sorry. » 

Yuta's breath cuts as he holds Winwin to prevent him from leaving. He doesn't release his hold. 

« It's not stupid. Actually, it's amazing. I would love to go watch a movie with you. »  
« You make it sound like a date. » answers Winwin with a relieved smile.  
« Well maybe that's what I want. » 

Winwin's eyes widen but he doesn't have the time to answer, Taeyong calls for everyone to gather around him. Soon, they'll have to perform and they needed to go behind the scenes. Yuta just hopes he wasn't going to regret saying that.

*****

It is fine. It really is. The whole "date" is completely fine. They both agreed to see a comedy. They grabbed dinner after the movie ( Yuta wanted to pay at all cost, but then remembered not bringing his wallet and having just 10 dollars with him. He opted for sandwiches and was relieved when Winwin's face showed nothing but happiness.) and went to sit on a bench in front of the sea. The framework is quiet romantic if you think of it, and the scene could have been romantic if Winwin wasn't talking about Jaehyun.

Okay, Yuta admits, he is overreacting. Winwin just said that Jaehyun was a great teacher and just because Yuta asked him how he managed to learn korean this fast. And then the other just said that's it's all thanks to Jaehyun, and that he is, Yuta quotes, "so grateful to have him" as if they were some cheesy couple.

Winwin bites in his sandwich. Even doing this little act, he was so mesmerizing. Yuta finds himself falling more in love with him each moment he spends with the other. 

But, being the petty man he is, he can't just let it pass. 

« What do you think of Jaehyun, other than being an excellent teacher and amazing friend ? » asks Yuta, stressing each syllabe of excellent and amazing.

Winwin widens his eyes and looks up from his sandwich. He stares into Yuta's eyes, certainly silently asking if he heard right. Yuta says nothing and stares too, waiting for a reply. 

« Well, I didn't say amazing friend but it's true so... uhm... »  
« Other than that ? I don't know... physically ? » 

Winwin frowns and wraps his sandwich in the packing before putting it on his lap. Then he looks again in Yuta's eyes, his own eyes containing so much seriousness Yuta almost flinches. 

« Are you trying to ask me if I'm into him or not ? » 

Yuta freezes. Is he this obvious ? He really thought he was doing a good job at hiding his jealousy but apparently not. He rubs his neck. Should he lies and denies it or should he just say the truth ? 

He opted for the second option. Before this day, Winwin and him weren't even friends. But all day, they were so comfortable with each other, it is like they were friends for a long time. Not one time there was shyness or embarrassment between them like Yuta expected to be. Winwin's was like a whole new person, not like he was when he avoided Yuta.

It is also the first time he sees serious Winwin and he doesn't want to lie to him. 

« Well... yeah... » 

Winwin's frown increases. He looks really offended like that and it just confuses Yuta. 

« Are you really serious ? I thought I was being obvious today I thought we matched very well I thought there was really something do you want me to feel something for Jaehyun do YOU feel something for Jaehyun are you aware that Jaehyun loves Taeyong ? »

Winwin's eyes widen again as he clasps his hand on his mouth. Yuta gapes, his eyes fully open. His heart begins to accelerate and he just can't take his eyes off Winwin. He is beautiful even when he is shocked. But what he said just can't disappear from his mind even if the other talked very fast without pauses like he wasn't breathing. 

« What did you just say ? »  
« Don't tell Jaehyun I said that. » Winwin begs as he takes Yuta's hands between his.  
« No, no, not that. I knew it anyway. What did you say before that ? » 

Winwin just looks confused now. He pouts and lets go of the other boy's hands. Yuta is a little bit disappointed but doesn't show it. 

« I said that I thought we matched. »  
« Do you mean, like matched matched ? Like love matched ? »  
« Huh... yeah ? » 

Why is he so nonchalant about this ?! It's like Yuta's heart can burst through his chest at any moment. He gapes more and it seems to confuse Winwin. 

« I thought you liked me. »  
« I do ! Am I this so obvious ?! » Yuta asks, pouting a little. 

Winwin sighs a little bit in relief and Yuta can see that, in fact, he isn't the only one freaking out. 

« Just a little bit. But Jaehyun assured me that you like me, I don't know how he knew. »  
« But... you do like me right ? I am not imagining it, right ? » 

The Chinese boy is smiling now. He leans his back on the bench and gazes at the sea. Yuta's hands are sweating because of his nervousness but he lets himself believe that it is really happening. 

« I remember you, you know. From when we were trainees. I think you don't remember me because I wouldn't have the courage to talk to you. You were always with a guy named Hansol I think. I was exhilarated to be in the same unit as you. But I kind of thought at first that you didn't like me but Jaehyun said that you do and then I was always shy when you were near me so yeah. » 

Yuta just can't talk. He lost his words. He can just stare into the other's eyes. First, he is surprised at how clear his korean is getting. The other boy practiced so hard and it was paying off. But most importantly, Winwin had just confessed to him and he was so fucking happy right now. He replays the words in his head and a smile grows on his lips that contrastes the next words he speaks. 

« I thought you didn't like me and was avoiding me. » 

Winwin winces and looks bashful. Yuta giggles at how cute the boy is. The Japanese man takes carefully the other's left hand and holds it with a gentleness that assures Winwin that Yuta really loves him and that he doesn't mind. He doesn't mind thinking the other didn't like him for a long time because now, he has him. 

« I love you. » 

Yuta's heart stopped and he's not even sure it begins beating again. He wasn't expecting the three sacred words coming out of the Chinese guy's mouth but he was so happy and relieved. 

He slowly gets closer and closer until he can feel Winwin's breath on his face. His beautiful face and ethereal look. Yuta won't ever have enough of it, enough of the other. He gazes at Winwin's plump lips and licks his own. He can finally do what he always has wanted to do. 

Yuta kisses Winwin. And like all the movies and the books say, he feels the butterflies in his stomach, his legs feel like cotton, and his heart is beating so fast. He cups the Chinese boy's cheeks and the latter takes the opportunity to put his own hands on the other's hips. He licks Winwin's bottom lips, the other opening his mouth to let both their tongue dance with each other. 

Yuta deepens the kiss because he just doesn't want to let Winwin go. They stay ten minutes kissing each other until the Chinese guy pulls back, lips swollen and face flush. They stare in each other eyes for a long time before Yuta says « I love you too. » 

And then Yuta kisses Winwin again. Because Yuta loves Winwin. He loves every aspect of his physic and every single part of his personality. 

Yuta is in love with Winwin. He has been in love with him for years now, perhaps even since they first met. Yuta can't think of a time, a place where he's not in love with him. He feared for a long time that his feelings weren't reciprocated. 

But it doesn't matter anymore because Winwin loves him back and it's all he needs.


End file.
